Sunday, April 2, 2017

Daddy' Presence

Watching the movie "Mr. Church" I have discovered a little more about who you were. Like him you had a turbulent childhood that you rarely spoke of. In fact the only memories you shared were about big Mamma and Aunt Anna. Everything else was packed away. Your childhood haunted you throughout your adulthood. I saw your battle throughout your marriage to my mom and was not able to understand. Rightfully so because I was a child. The scars left me ultimately impacted our relationship as well as my perspective of you for many years. That changed when my mom and Mr. H. got involved. He demanded me to look at you from a different perspective. For that I will forever be grateful. Similar to Mr. Church in the movie you transformed your hurt and pain into steps for you to be a better man. This was evident in how involved you were in the community. Yet, those old wounds still remained an albatross that followed you like a shadow.

Things began to change for you and I when I moved back home. Without either one of us realizing it we were in the process of a transformation. You were able to finally begin to break the chains that were many years old and I was able to see you through a clear lens of appreciation. Our foundation was being rebuilt through a mutual agreement sealed in silence. Though the lost years  could never be regained we were okay with starting over not knowing that those years prior would have no consequences on the future. Through your silence you taught me and your grandchildren many lessons. With your embellished stories were always underlined with little snippets of you that we hold dear to our hearts. These little gems are actually the road map for me to get to know who you were. It is funny how your presences shows up and further lets me know that you have always loved me. Deep down inside you were still that lost little boy from Portsmouth still trying to find your way. As I told you a few years before your death, time heals all wounds. Daddy you are no longer lost and damaged. You overcame all that hurt and pain and have bridged the gap between you and I. During the process of us rebuilding our father daughter relationship, you were the father figure for your grandchildren when they needed one the most. Though you were not in a position  to be there for me as a little girl, God placed someone to temporarily take your place. Though Mr. H. was what was needed, he never nor could he ever take your place. You will forever be my daddy! Thank you for making your presences known when I am missing you.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Pebaleader Kellum Stitt Update

To my surprise as I was taking a much needed break from school work, I discovered another individual researching Grandma Pebaleader Kellum! With great excitement I went to the tree and sure enough the information was the same as the information I have been able to confirm. I am not sure of the family connection this individual has, but I am very curious. I sent a message introducing myself and giving a brief overview of my connection to Pebaleader. The individual did respond to my message, but was not in a position to speak on their research.  I thought for sure that they would have gotten back to me by now. I am equally curious as the individual conducting the research was from the LDS church. My experience with individuals of this faith is that they have a thirst for piecing their family histories together. I am waiting anxiously to speak to them and to hopefully advance my research and knowledge on the Kellum line. Ironically the researcher's father is from North Carolina. Sending my request to the ancestors to lead the way and to do some encouraging so I have the opportunity to fully explore this avenue. Something tells me that I may have hit a very rich information highway. Right now I must sit tight and wait!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Carefully Sharing

I would love to one day be able to help with getting the family together for a family reunion. That looks like it is not feasible for a variety of reasons. However, there is more than one way to skin a cat! Having small presentations to go over the research I have been conducting will be a start. It is imperative that those that have helped with this labor of love be able to see the fruits of their participation. This would be my way of thanking them as well as encourage more dialogue in a structured small setting. It is my goal to bring the family together, bridge gaps, and be the conduit for re-connection of the family. This may be a more appropriate approach to ensure that great care is being taken to any sensitive information and/or events that may have occurred. The one thing I have learned during this journey of love is that the ancestors should be respected and their stories should be presented with the most love and respect so that their lives are represented authentically. This is my charge that I have gladly taken on with love and the upmost respect.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Getting Closer to Grandma Pebaleader

During the semester I rarely do any research. I take this time to focus on my studies so that when I come back to my research my mind is cleared. Well for some reason I went to ancestry and noticed I had a hint connected to you. I was surprised to say the least because it appeared that all avenues to gaining more knowledge about you had dried up. It appears I have discovered someone researching the wife of your brother Charles who was married to Mary Evans. I reached out to the individual and am waiting to speak to them sometime next week. I am excited to get to know you and Uncle Charles more.

 Just know that I am committed to stitching the quilt of your life together. The memories that Sylvia and Molly shared with me increases my curiosity. I learned from them that my son inherited his eye color from you. No one else in the family that I know of has the greyish green eye color. I was amazed at their description of you. I am hoping that I will be able to obtain a picture of you one day along with finding out why you changed your name. In any event I am happy that you and the other ancestors are orchestrating clues for me. I thank you and will continue to honor and represent your lives honestly. Sending much love to your memory.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Getting To Know You

Although I have known you all my life, I am realizing that there is another side of you I've never knew. You have done so many wonderful and life changing things that you never spoke on. I wonder why that is? Why wouldn't you share these things so that your loved ones can grab the torch and further advance your efforts. None the less I am proud of your accomplishments and how you were fearless in making your community better. As I look in the mirror and see many of your features I smile knowing that I have acquired many of your attributes that you have kept a secret. Finding your unpublished book gives me excitement and joy. I cannot wait to read the story that you created. Something tells me that this story was given birth from your many experiences growing up and traveling while you were in the military. I guess that may be where your Anna Banana obtained the writing bug from. Dad you will be happy to know that we have decided to finish your book and to get it put into print. I am going to let Anne take the lead since writing is her passion. I am sure she will care for your story as if it was her own. For some reason your book is inviting me to open it up. I think that is your way of letting me know that you are still here and watching over me. I have no doubt that with this read I will get to know you even more. 

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Redirection By The Ancestors

As I was planning on how I am going to proceed with the mirroring a tree process it dawned on me that this was already in the making. Why? Because I have already administered DNA tests on my uncle and cousin. This will allow me to separate my grandmother's and grandfather's family easily. Initially when I asked for these individuals to take the DNA test I was hoping that other family members from the Stitt line had also taken DNA tests that was of close relation. That has not been as successful as I had hoped. However, using this new technique should help. I know that the process is going to be time consuming, but it will be worth it. The icing on the cake is that through these tests that I administered over the summer gave me concrete evidence to the link to the Native Indian bloodline though my 4th great grandmother Mahaby. The ancestors have a way of redirecting you when you listen. Grandma Mahaby, you are next on my list. Hold on for a minute and I will be searching for you.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Mirror Mirror

I decided to take a step back during this school semester to re-evaluate my research approach on my Stitt line. At least I thought I was going to take a step back because the ancestors definitely have a different path. While trying to help my husband research for his biological father we stumbled on a research technique of mirroring a tree of a known DNA match. This technique is supposed to help you identify a common ancestor shared. DING! The ancestors nudged me and I began to think that this may be a great way of me being able to further my research on my Stitt family. I have made several connections on the Stitt line that were not known previously and I believe at least one of them has taken a DNA test. I am definitely going to put my energy into this option as this appears to be the only way for me to get any information on the Stitt line as no one in my immediate family talks about this side of the family. I realized my grandfather and a great grandfather did not nurture their families in the optimal way, but through these men we are able to learn and do better. I want to understand their environment which would give an up close look as to why they made the decisions they've made. Hiding or pretending that these men did not exist does not make the behaviors that was passed down disappear. I am a true believer that in order for their to be a sustainable change one must understand the past. It is my sincere hope that conducting this method will allow me to get the understanding that I seek. With that being said, Robert Sitt Sr. and Robert Stitt Jr. I am looking for you. I want to understand you so that my son will be able to learn and do better. Through you too will ultimately give me  a well rounded understanding of my own father, Robert Stitt III. So I ask you to guide me through this part of my journey and allow me to tell your stories authentically without judgement wrapped in love. Allow me to be the mirror to show others who you were.